Changes

Personally, I am afraid of changes. Especially changes in people. I know this is gonna change me. But my last year's birthday gift was what gave me the most comfort. I finally feel like I can understand a little bit of God's plan. He prepared me last year just so I can have a speedy recovery. He made me stronger so I can get on my feet in no time when people knock me down.

I told Him, give it to me, for it's what my heart really desires. I can really feel His objection, like He already know its no good to me. But I prayed, I told Him I'll bear the consequences myself. I feel His reluctance. He never want me to get stirred in this kind of things again. Like a kid, I heed no good advice. I chose to follow my heart. I chose to be stubborn. So I pay the price.

If last year, I went on that challenge, I can totally skip this one right now. But a pity I did not. July, August. And by September I will give myself a break. Some times I doubt my own determination. But I really can't afford to be beaten by the same theory thrice. Everyday will be a struggle. And I'm not to whine, not to complain. This is a punishment. A valuable lesson I'm bringing to the next chapter of my life.

It's proven how to deal with it. And it'll be a theory coming alive in my life. I guess whether or not I'm ready for the change in me, I have to go for it. I have no time to get ready. No time for preparation. Appreciate those that appreciate you. Don't go against your principles hoping to gain something. Humble yourself down, we are nothing great. Nothing at all. We are lowly human beings, far from a saint. So if you think you're too cool to be screwed, you're so wrong. Because someone is gonna enter your life, prove you wrong and then leave. For. I bet, there's definitely people too upset with you thinking too highly of yourself. You're sending invitation for people to pull you down from your throne. viel Gluck my friend.